This is a excellent question, and you'll get many different answers in these forums on the subject.
The short answer to your question is that reflections are good in a music room, but not typically desireable in a dedicated home theater room.
Both parts of your question have one central aspect to them and is important to understand. First thing to understand is typically the acoustical treatment and approach of acoustics for home music systems is much different than that for"dedicated" home theater systems.
Home music systems you dont want a room that is overdamped, but rather one that is more live but has controled reflections. Typically a room with 1 to 1.5 second delay times is ideal for music room. But how it is treated, the materials that are used to control these relections, and where they are placed is critical. You want the front wall to be live, and the rear wall to have careful choice in materials to carefully delay the reflextions without absorbing to much. The issue with absorbion is that it is not linear, it will absorb at certain frequencys and reflect at others, causing large variations in the frequency responce known as comb filtering.
Defusion is much better to use in a music room to help eliminate early reflections and not create comb filtering effects and a overdamped room.
In a home theater system your trying to achieve completely different results. Most home theater systems you want a heavily damped room to give more direct sound. With absorbtion it allows more pinpoint placement of sounds in a multchannel speaker system.
That is one of the main reasons dedicated home theater systems do a poor job of playing back music. It doesnt allow for a natural presentation of the music, and colors the sound in a negative way.
So there are completely different desireable results and approaches for acoustics of rooms used for music and room used for playing back movies.
The rooms size and dimensions affect both the bass responce, soundstaging, as well as how big or full the system will sound. So when people are asking what size the room is, to get the best bass responce, the size of the room matters, as well as how much air movement you need to provide to get a big sound. Larger room ideally needs more surface area (larger or more bass drivers) to fill the room to get a full big sound.
There is allot to acoustics to much to go into allot of detail here, but this gives you some idea what your trying to achieve.
Kevin
40 years high end audio video specialist